December 11, 2009

Andrew "Dice" Clay
The Day The Laughter Died - 1990

This time of year is musically one of my least favorites. I hate hearing the same old Christmas songs year after year after year. As a remedy for this I'm offering up Andrew "Dice" Clay's train-wreck of a Christmas Album The Day The Laughter Died.

Okay. This is horrible. Seriously. Just horrible. It's an hour and forty two minutes of the most hate-filled, misogynistic, misanthropic, bitter, angry, sexually depraved, childish, immature, nonsensical and upsetting words ever committed to tape. This is not recommended for anyone.

Now that we have that out of the way, this record is fucking hysterical. It's laugh-out-loud-even-after-hearing-it-50-times funny.

The first time I listened to this I was pretty offended and really didn't think it was that funny. I get it. He's being gross. But then I found myself thinking about it a lot and laughing out loud. I found myself telling other people about the things Dice says on this recording.

Dice had released his first record thoughtfully titled Dice in early 1990 and quickly made a name for himself. Not necessarily a good one, but he was becoming something of a phenomenon, none the less. He was known and hated for his crude sexual humor, his even cruder and more sexual re-telling of classic nursery rhymes and his mistreatment of just about every demographic (except The Jews; could it be because Dice's real name is Andrew Silverstein?) It's some pretty dumb stuff, the not-that-funny kind. Maybe a little silly here and there; but, all in all, not really worth listening to.

His next move was either an amazing accident or a stroke of genius. Either Dice or Def-American Producer and Owner Rick Rubin, I've heard both accounts, decided to book a relatively small club, Dangerfield's in NYC, and not advertise that Dice would be performing. The idea was to get a group of people who would not necessarily be familiar with or comfortable with Dice's act and really lay it on thick for them. It seems as if it was fairly common in the late 80's to go to a comedy club, not to hear a comedian, but to just socialize, so a good portion of the crowd would just show up to see a comedian tell some safe jokes while they eat diner or have a few drinks. Things didn't really end up going down that way on the nights of December 26th and 27th, 1989....

The first entire minute of this record sets the tone for what will follow. Silence. No jokes. Just Dice lighting a cigarette, exhaling loudly and making some mouth noises (or probably doing that stupid cigarette trick routine). That's it. No Danish. From the proverbial word "Go", he is on a mission to be the last man standing.

I really don't want to say too much about the content of the record because the beauty (yeah, it is kind of beautiful) of the record is in the way it unfolds. It's pretty obvious that Dice did very little preparation for this show on purpose. He keeps all the jokes, insult and sex gags off the cuff, allowing him breathing room to let the show take him and the audience wherever it wants to go. A few times he tries to wrangle this comedic monster in some kind of direction with what can only be described as jokes that don't work, like The Catfish Bit. The thing that makes this record so great is that even when he falls flat on his face, it's still a triumph. The humor comes from how utterly stupid the joke is; and from how long he can keep it up for. The man is relentless. It's almost as if he knows he has no jokes, just a hook. A hook that after just one album is already wearing thin.

The Day The Laughter Died makes no sense most of the time and the rest of the time just isn't funny. Now that might sound like a negative comment to some people, but coming from me that is serious praise. The show meanders, stumbles and falls at times, but I can't stress enough how much I love that about this record. Arghhh! I really don't want to spoil any of this record. Let me just say that the payoff at the end is pretty unforgettable. I'm going to stop before I ruin this for anyone who might be interested.

Let it suffice to say that this recording is not for everyone. I feel a special bond with people who don't really like Dice and still think this record is as funny as I do. You've been warned.

Merry Christmas!

Download and laugh your balls off.

Track listing:
from CD:
    Disc 1
  1. First Kiss
  2. Holiday Season
  3. The Tree
  4. Texas
  5. Places To Meet Chicks
  6. The Gift
  7. The Divider
  8. Personal Delivery Service
  9. Female Anatomy
  10. Under 2 Minutes
  11. Kids
  12. Mothers, Daughtes & Sisters
  13. 1990
  14. Jerkin' Off
  15. Milk & Shampoo
  16. Laughter vs. Comedy
  17. While The Cats Away...
  18. What'll It Be
  19. Pizza
  20. Concave
  21. Frozen Food
    Disc 2
  1. The Osmonds
  2. Hot Mama
  3. Turn-On Words
  4. Rhyme Renditions
  5. True Stories
  6. Automatic Pilot
  7. Dogs & Birds
  8. Women Comics
  9. Cigarettes
  10. A History Lesson
  11. Judy
  12. Mother & Son
  13. A+
  14. What Did She Say?
  15. Double Date
  16. Multiple Sclerosis
  17. How Are Ya?
  18. Silence Is Golden
  19. Hour Back...Get It?
  20. Something Soft

Download The Day The Laughter Died from DivShare (118.32 MB)


. said...

"God bless us, every one!" Tiny Tim, 'A Christmas Carol'. Which personally I find one of the most offensive pieces of Yuletide dreck, a season noted for causing offence to just about everyone, if they admit to it or not. I'm looking forward to hearing this (did you know it was recorded by elves?) - thanks!

. said...

"This file is not available in China and Southeast Asia."

Thanks a bunch, Divshare! What you got against us Chinks?

Anonymous said...

I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing

Anonymous said...

I am reading this article second time today, you have to be more careful with content leakers. If I will fount it again I will send you a link

Anonymous said...

Wow . . . I was searching this out today and found your article--then I saw your post date with the year '2009' and figured there's no way I'll be able to access the content.

BUT IT STILL WORKS! Hey, thank you so very much for hanging in there all these years later to share this "data."

Anonymous said...

Download still works. SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Andy Kaufman was the first to work the anti-joke. Dice does it to the extreme. Funny? No. But he does prove that laughter at least part of the time is sheer nervousness.

Anonymous said...

2 words: hour back! GET IT?!?

Anonymous said...

still working for downloading thanks...

NakedReporta said...

This is one of my favorite comedy albums in that it is the quintessential anti-comedy album. It's an hour (back, get it?) and a half of the Aristocrats writ large. The joke is there are no jokes. It's a beautiful thing.